My wife is always making fun of me because, well, I am an engineering geek. The fact that I am interested in social media, internet marketing and public speaking means that I am not a typical engineering geek, but I am still a geek. I admit it.
Today she forwarded me one of those funny emails about engineers. I decided I would share it with you here so you could understand a little more about me (and my wife).
I am reprinting these jokes without permission — there was no attribution in the email that I received. Let me know if that hurts your feelings…
Understanding Engineers – One
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers – Two
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons
Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers – Three
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
There were some other funny ones in that email, but I decided I did not want to offend anyone.
Have a great day.
I love it when you tease your engineering/brainiac self! It’s too funny – if I got you together with my brother, David, or my dad – who are both geniuses…I’d just have to hang my head and leave the room. I’d be more lost than lost. LOL
Oh yeah, and my feelings are most definitely hurt. Heh.
(I frequently want to blog emails I get, but, yeah – that attribution thing stops my wimpy butt from doing it…usually…)
I am happy to give someone credit for these awful jokes if anyone is brave enough to claim it.
Darn you and hurting people’s feelings!
The glass is twice as big as it needs to be… hmm. Interesting one.
Being trained at CAD and pretty damn good at mechanical drawings if I do say so myself I guess that makes me an assistant to the building of the weapons ~ Mechanicanerds FTW! w00t! 🙂
LOL — gotta have weapons. Peace through strength.
As a fellow engineer, I enjoyed hearing those old chestnuts again. Reminds me of my favorite story of the difference between an engineer and a scientist:
Two men, an engineer and a scientist, are brought into a room and stood against one wall. Standing by the opposite wall is an incredibly beautiful woman. The men are told that they can advance toward the woman, but the one restriction is that they can only move forward half the remaining distance with each move. The first one to reach the woman gets to go on a date with her.
The scientist begins crying with sadness. When asked why, he says “If I can only advance half the remaining distance each time, I will never actually reach the woman.”
The engineer says “Close enough.”
I love this old Zeno’s Paradox joke. Forgot all about it. Thanks!
I am an engineer as well, in fact my online business is an engineering and technical training site, and I haven’t quit the day job, so I guess I am a member of your main audience.
As far as engineers not being “social” I always say engineers can get along great with non-engineers, and with engineers as well, that makes engineers socially superior to the normal person! Many of my engineering friends also are into the social media stuff, I think more than non-engineers actually, probably because they are more comfortable with it.
Maybe you can do a few articles or podcast aimed at the engineer starting an internet business.
That is a neat idea, David. I will think about that. Engineers are “special” — so that could be a really interesting idea.
That would be great idea Mark. You always hear about how to do this or that for the non-techies. But what about the techies?!? I can build a web server… hell a whole farm of servers, globally load balanced through multiple data centers … but the marketing.. yeah that’s a new game.
Its coming along slowly though!
🙂
OHH!! I have an old one.. this one isn’t engineering.. but more network related… I hope you don’t mind
Networking according to Dr. Suess.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,
then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
‘Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you’ll want to Ram your Rom.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!